I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
