just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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