Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
