you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
