were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
