Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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