No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
