ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
