Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
