What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
