Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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