oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
