its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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