its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
FUCK WHALES
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