Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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