somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
so let's talk penis.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
