We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
