His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Green mimosas i think yes
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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