u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Banned from zoo.
Again?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
