my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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