So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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