it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize