I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
