Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
