Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
It's official drugs can't kill me
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
