He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize