It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize