Whod you bang
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
