Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
So much Jack, so little girl.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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