I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
