You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
