Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
i think my cat just said my name.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
