I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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