Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
