nut hugger
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
