So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
