she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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