I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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