porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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