Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
