After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
