I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
