I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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