Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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