so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
