Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
