Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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