just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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