Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I will pee on everything he values.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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