I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
