no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
