her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
