how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
