dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
