as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
