did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
