oh fat girl friday strikes again...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
