so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
