What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
