i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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