nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
