Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I wish i was in the wii world.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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